For most people, sleep is the best, partially because it gives us a chance to relax and dream. But sometimes, those dreams can be the source of major stress, especially if you’re dreaming about someone you’d rather forget. One minute, you’re dreaming about eating the best ice cream you’ve ever tasted, and then, suddenly…your ex is there? What does it mean when you dream about ex? It’s not always a sign that you subconsciously want to get back together.
Interested in your dream & sleep talking? Sometimes sleep talking occurs during dreaming. Use ShutEye sleep tracker app to see funny things you say during the sleep, and if you snore or fart! (Download ShutEye for Android and iOS.)
What does it mean when you dream about ex?
Dreaming about an ex is actually really common — and it might not mean what you think. If you’ve found yourself wondering why your brain keeps bringing up a certain person when you’re asleep, one (or more) of these reasons might explain it.
1. If it’s a recent ex-girlfriend or boyfriend.
It may appear like your mind is attempting to undo all of your hard work in the waking hours to get over this individual.
However, your subconscious is actually attempting to assist you in healing and processing your feelings about the split.
2. If they were physically or verbally abusive.
A common trauma response is to dream about an abusive or toxic ex.
If you’re having nightmares about an abusive ex, it’s probably because you’re still trying to figure out why it happened in the first place.
3. If it’s an ex from a long time ago.
It’s very typical to have dreams about a long-ago ex, especially a first love. That ex becomes a symbol for passion, unbridled desire, fearless love, and so on.
This is your subconscious mind’s way of informing you that you need more love in your life.
4. If someone is expressing regret.
If your ex apologizes in your dream, it doesn’t mean he or she is truly sorry in real life.
Rather, it’s your mind creating up a scene in which your ex said exactly what you hoped he had said.
5. If they miss you or you miss them.
What qualities did your ex have that you’re missing from your life right now? For example, if your ex was funny, schedule a Zoom date with another funny friend.
What qualities of yours did your ex help bring out in you? Time to tap into those without the help of your ex!
6. If you’re getting back together.
If you would, it’s time to spend some time remembering why you broke up in the first place. Likely, those were some pretty damn good reasons! (A therapist or protective BFF can be very helpful here).
If, however, in your waking hours you have ZERO interest in said ex, the dream is a sign that you’ve made peace with the relationship and learned the lessons you needed to learn from it. Exciting!
7. If you’re getting physical.
Aka kissing, touching, and the like. In dreams, sex = connection.
So, it’s time to examine whether you actually want to reconnect with this ex. This is another instance where making a list of reasons you broke up can be helpful.
If you have a kid together, it’s not about the sex or kissing, it’s about connecting for the sake of the child. Good to know!
Why you’re dreaming about your ex?
Of course, it’s only natural to wonder the reasoning behind your dreams, and your curiosity probably doubles when someone unexpected pops up. But even if you’re happily in a new relationship (or feel like, in your waking hours, you’re super over that old boyfriend or girlfriend), it’s not that strange if you see an ex or two in your dreams.
1. You’ve unresolved feelings toward your ex.
Before you freak out too much about this one, remember that these feelings don’t necessarily have to be romantic ones. Dreaming about an ex could mean that you’re looking for closure. Maybe you’re unsettled with the way things ended between the two of you, or maybe you’re still trying to work past the way your relationship ended in your mind.
2. You’re worried about being successful in a new relationship.
If you’re entering into a relationship with a new person, your psyche may still be trying to sort out the pluses and minuses of your old relationship. In this situation, your psyche is trying to ensure success with your new relationship.
3. It’s a symbol of a bigger problem.
So basically, if you’re dreaming about your ex, think about why your relationship ended and what you could have done differently. If it was your fault — and even if it wasn’t — sorting that out and preventing it from happening in future relationships could put these dreams to an end.
4. You’ve afraid someone else will hurt you again.
For a lot of people, getting over an old relationship is difficult, simply because it comes with the fear of being hurt the same way again — especially if your breakup was particularly brutal. That might have something to do with your ex guest starring in your dreams.
The dream might even be your way of realizing a new relationship is going down the same path. That might mean that you need to do what you can to change the relationship’s course, or that you haven’t had full emotional closure.
5. You’re trying to forgive them after a bad breakup.
If things between the two of you didn’t end well and there was never an opportunity for forgiveness, the dream could be your brain’s way of creating that opportunity for you. It might represent the fact that you need to make peace with your ex. Want the dreams to stop? Forgive your ex when you’re awake and conscious, and that might just do it.
It’s common to have a dream about ex. It also doesn’t necessarily have to do with your ex.
What you do with your dreams is determined by what is beneath them. However, dealing with the root of the problem is the only way to permanently end the dream.
If you have trouble sleeping, try ShutEye, an all-in-one sleep app. ShutEye brings a wide variety of tools to help you fall asleep. And you can understand your sleep cycles from a scientific perspective.
So stop tossing and turning all night, and starting falling asleep in a healthy and natural way.
You may also like:
Are You Stressed? | 3-Minute Stress Test
14 Sleep Hygiene Tips For Better Sleep
8 Relaxing Sounds to Help You Sleep Better and Relieve Stress
What if I continue to dream about my late husband .. in my dream he is really alive and I’m keeping a secret from the kids(and world) . My oldest son caught him alive and is mad, threatening to tell the other 4 kids, when arguing and crying with my son I wake up. I’ve had this dream several times in the past year, even though he has been gone since September 25 2017. I know that my husband passed away, I found him, only stating this so you know there is no option of my dream being real
Wanting to believe someone is not really gone
In your dreams it is the only real way their spirit can live on you can see them in a way you did before their passing, not wanting to tell the children is your inner instincts as a mother
Shielding your children from the pain of reality
The eldest knowing- you knowing your eldest is old enough to process the pain and what is happening is why in the dream he finds out
But the younger children don’t and him threatening to tell is your subconscious
Mind dealing with the pain of your younger children not really knowing the full extent of what is going on
I have repeated dreams about an ex who died 1year after a hard split up. My spouse now gave me the news of his death. It was extremely hard for me because we had been best friends also but couldn’t continue the relationship. I always dream we are talking and laughing and having a good time. After he always tells me everything will be good or okay. Then something always happens in my real life. Such as when I married my spouse or got pregnant, when I graduated college and when my granddaughter was born. What does this mean? I do think about him a lot when I am awake also.
From what I’ve learned through talking with mediums, these dreams are his way of letting you know he has been by your side celebrating all the great things in your life. He’s with you! He’s happy for you!❤️
Finding out someone you love or care for has passed is a trauma within its self, you dream of him in better times when you laughed and had fun together this is your subconscious telling you how you remember your ex in fun times
Where your ok and you laughed together
Your remembering the positive side to this person and allowing their memory to live
On as a positive reminder,you cared deeply for this person and there for you see him in reminders that are special to you.
You wanting to believe he has been by your side
Watching you grow. His spirit lives on and watches over you, our subconscious creates amazing memories. It sounds like you never really healed or got over his passing away xx
so i keep having a dream that my ex is being super nice to me and trying to get back with me even though we both are in a new relationship. thibgs didn’t end to well when we broke up so im confused.
I have dreams of me going into my exs house uninvited. I just walk in. My ex has a new girlfriend and we argue in my dream about just walking into their home. But his kids still visit with me. And sometimes I’m there to take care of him because he has Cancer, all of this is only in my dreams. What is going on??
My husband passed away 11 months, ago and I had. Had a dream of him a few times what does that mean before he passed away our marriage was not good we had problems he ended in the hospital never thought he wasn’t going to make it was a shock to me and the kids.
I’m having nightmares about my ex who beat me up, beat my daughter up and killed my son he was only 11 weeks old.
I dream about him beating me up and knocking me out. This did happen in real life quite a few times, I tried to get away but he would always find me and pull me back by my hair then he would beat me. On the night my little boy died, I was down stairs getting my daughter out of her pushchair, my ex called me and said that there was something wrong with my baby boy, I went to him he was floppy and turning blue. I started pressing on his chest and mouth to mouth resuscitation, he came back went back to being pink, the ambulance turned up and took him, myself and my ex to the hospital. A friend looked after my daughter,.
When we got to the hospital my baby had started going blue again, they rushed him through to resus, then police turned up arrested me and my ex. I didn’t know what had happened, my baby was transferred to the John Radcliffe hospital in Oxford, where he was put on life support. The police let me go, because I didn’t know what had happened, both my daughter and son(baby) were put on the at risk register. I went to live with my mum & dad, I visited my daughter in care and also my son in hospital. I day later I popped to see my sister, while I was there I went really cold, so I asked my mum and dad to take me back to theirs, when I got back there had been a phone call from the hospital to say my baby boy had died, I screamed then fell to the floor, we had a funeral for him which was heartbreaking.
I went to court to get my daughter out of care, it’s then that I found out my ex has thrown my baby against the wall and shattered his brain. This happened is 1984. I got my daughter out of care on the 6th December 1984, my grandma passed away the day my daughter came home xx my mum died Boxing Day 2017, my mother in law died 3rd of April 2018 and my dad died on the 10th April 2019, seen then I’ve been having these nightmares .
All I keep doing is having nightmares, my new husband wakes me up because of the screaming.
Trauma, it can make you dream like these, you have to find the strength to forgive you. To let things go, you couldn’t control the faith of your child, it is not your blame. Let things go, forgive yourself. You will start healing everyday. Be strong be kind.
I had a dream about my ex that we went on a trip with my Cousins and siblings and we were all just hanging out and then me ex grabbed my hand and then we just kissed and got back together and we spent the whole day together (but why this dream were not on really good terms right now )